I am the first person to admit when I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. At work, at the gym, working on a house project, hell… even doing something as structureless as dancing.
I make it abundantly clear when I am lost, but at the same time, I’m really good at the whole “fake it ’till you make it” concept.
It’s a deadly combination.
I’m an imposter!
I read that 7 in 10 adults feel like they’re an imposter. They convince themselves that they’re a fraud or they aren’t worthy of the success they have in their lives.
This is commonly known as imposter syndrome. If you’re into definitions:
Imposter syndrome, also called perceived fraudulence, involves feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist despite your education, experience, and accomplishments.
When we feel like this, we tend to hold ourselves to a higher standard, which means our emotional and mental well-being take a massive hit. We tell ourselves that we need to work harder to prove that we deserve our accomplishments.
That may mean we work longer hours, take on more projects, try to do it all, or all of the above. In the end we feel tired, overworked, and all-around burnt out.
There’s a lot that goes into the psychology behind imposter syndrome, and because I am neither a psychologist nor any other kind of healthcare professional, I won’t dive into that here.
After all, this blog is all about making you feel better. Who cares what kind of psychological trauma it took for you to get here! (I kid. If you want to dive into it more, this article shares a variety of factors–from your race to how your parents raised you to your personality.)
You can comb through countless articles and read countless tips to overcome imposter syndrome, but I think it really comes down to two things:
- Looking inward.
- Positive self talk.
First, look inward
The best way to see what’s going on inside of us is to take a step outside of us.
We get so caught up in everyday life, that we can’t see what everyone else sees. We have to pull ourselves out of our tunnel vision, wipe the crust out of the corners of our eyes, and get a 360-degree view of what’s happening right in front of us.
What do you notice when you do this? How are you feeling? What are you thinking?
Once you acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, you can actively change them, which brings us to step two.
Then, talk to yourself
In a good way, not an I’m-absolutley-losing-my-damn-mind kind of way. Tell yourself everything you would tell a friend in your position. This is your moment to be your own hype man.
Repeat after me…
I am smart.
I am worthy.
I am strong.
I am confident.
I am powerful.
I am a kick ass human being who deserves every amazing thing that has ever happened to me.
Not a fraud, just a work in progress
While we all feel like we’re imposters at some point in our lives, we just have to remind ourselves how incredible we truly are.
We need to approach ourselves with kindness and respect. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend. Always be your own hype man.
If we do this enough, we’ll never feel like an imposter because we know what we deserve. And we deserve all the amazing things in life.
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