It’s the same old movie every time. The lights dim, the director yells “action” and some completely, utterly horrible thing happens in your life that you feel like you could never overcome. A wise man enters stage right and utters those familiar words “Everything happens for a reason,” and that’s it. The screen goes black, the lights turn on and you’re back to reality.
Time and time again people attempt to make a horrible situation better by simply telling someone that everything happens for a reason. It’s like those five words are supposed to completely change your mindset. For some, it actually does. It’s like a light goes on, a wave of refreshment washes over you and you feel almost instantly better. But for others, those words are almost as hallow as an old oak tree serving as a home to a family of squirrels (like the one in my backyard).
Personally, I’ve always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. It might just be my way of coping with things, but it works for me (I’ll tell you why, just hang on). However, I can understand why people wouldn’t believe that.
Everything doesn’t happen for a reason
There is absolutely no reason a 3-year-old child should die from cancer.
There is absolutely no reason any man or woman should be a victim of sexual assault.
There is absolutely no reason for anything bad to happen to people, but it does.
Whether you believe in a higher being or not, is it realistic to say that there is some driving force for every single thing that happens to us? No, it is not realistic at all.
Like I said, to some, the words “everything happens for a reason” mean absolutely nothing. This is especially true when something horrible happens. People don’t want to believe that some higher being or wrong twist of fate made this happen. It just makes life seem so bitter.
They don’t want to believe that their lives are predetermined, with every move they make driving them to something they were “meant” to experience. They want to feel like they have control, any why shouldn’t they? I mean, don’t we all have at least some sort of control of how our lives turn out?
If so, then how do people believe that everything happens for a reason?
Maybe everything doesn’t happen for a reason, but…
Like I said before, I’ve always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. With what I’ve been through, it’s kind of hard not to believe it. I’m an optimist (you know, a glass half full type of person), so I try to look for the good in every situation.
My thought process is that maybe everything doesn’t happen for a reason, but there is a reason for everything that happens in your life. (No, I didn’t type that wrong, just keep reading.)
When something bad happens, the world doesn’t just conjure up this magical reasoning for it. It isn’t eminent; you have to think about it and create the reasoning yourself. This is where the optimism comes in to play.
Yes, it’s easier to sit around and sulk in sadness, but it doesn’t help you heal. Instead, think about (or even physically write down a list) all the good that could possibly come from this horrible situation you’ve been through. Think about how it can lead to improvements in the present and the future, and think about how someone else could possibly benefit from your misfortune.
Once you have your list, review it. Look over the good that can happen as a result of this poor situation, and hold on to it. There’s your reason. If you do this every time you face a misfortune in your life, you will be amazed at how your perspective changes. Before you know it, whenever something bad happens, you will be thinking of the reasoning why without even realizing it.
Like me, you’ll become one of those glass half full type of people. The best part of this is that your thinking that everything happens for a reason will begin to spread to others, and those people will begin to share that same mindset, which spreads to more and more people. It’s a chain reaction.
Wouldn’t the world be great if we all found the good in the bad? The reason behind everything that happens? If you think so (like me), then you can be the start of it. Slowly but surely, you will begin seeing the glass as half full rather than half empty, and every sip will be so refreshing. (See what I did there?)