It’s time to stop being so nice

How could being nice be a bad thing? From the moment we can remember, we are taught to be nice. You always hear parents tell their children to share their toys, but is that always for the best?

When I was little, I was the typical girly-girl. Being a girly-girl, I absolutely loved playing with Barbies. Often, I would play with my cousins, sisters, and friends, which meant sharing my Barbies with other people.

Since I was raised to be nice and share my toys, I didn’t mind. I would let my friends pick their favorite doll from my wide array of Barbies, and we would create our own little world. At least, until I got my favorite Barbie doll.

She had a big, puffy, Cinderella dress, a crown, and a sash. Basically, she was everything 5-year-old me aspired to be: a princess.

I didn’t want to share her with anyone, but my nice nature wouldn’t let me be selfish. Since I wanted to please everyone else, I almost never got to play with my favorite Barbie doll.

Ever since I was 5-year-old Julia playing with Barbie dolls, I have been the type of person that will do anything for anyone. I will inconvenience myself to convenience others, and I told myself I didn’t mind it. I wanted to make others happy, even if my own happiness was suffering.

I don’t like letting people down, and I have a hard time letting out a stern “No.” If you are asking me to do something for you, chances are I will. I’m a people-pleaser by nature.

If you’re like me, you know that a vast majority of people take advantage of your niceness, yet you continue to please them. It’s like a vicious cycle that can’t be broken. You know you’re being taken advantage of, but you just can’t bring yourself to say “no.”

Today, I’m telling you that it’s time to start letting people down.

Being a nice, kind individual is a great characteristic to have. Of course I’m not going to sit here and tell you to become a bitter, mean person. No one wants that. Instead, I’m just going to ask you to start putting yourself first.

When someone asks a favor of you, know that you have no obligation to do it. Be upfront and tell them that you can’t or don’t have time or simply don’t want to. If they aren’t understanding, then they also aren’t worth your time. Time for a new friend.

When someone asks you to hang out with them, and you’d rather just stay home, tell them. Sometimes you get tired. You need a break, and it’s perfectly fine to have a night in watching Netflix by yourself.

When someone is doing or saying something that you don’t like or believe in, you do not have to agree with them. I’ll admit, I struggle with this. I would rather smile and nod than stir the pot and anger someone. Don’t be a Julia. Voice your opinion.

People take advantage of nice people like you and me, which results in us getting walked over. It’s our own fault, but that just means we have the power to change it.

Start putting yourself first. Don’t do things that you have no desire to do. Be selfish once in a while. Do what is best for you. This sudden change will shock people that tend to take advantage of you, but they will get over it. If they don’t, then that’s someone you don’t want in your life anyway.

Be nice to others, just please stop putting others before yourself. There is such a thing as being too nice.

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