Don’t worry, there will be no Frozen references in this post. (If you thought there would be, then I’m sorry.) I couldn’t quite figure out how to word my title (my brain is fried), so I apologize in advance if it was misleading.
There are so many people that wander in and out of our lives. We make friends and lose friends all the time, and that’s just part of living, BUT there are some people that just won’t. Get. Out.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you want them out of your life, but more like it would be better for both of you if you were out of each other’s lives. This can be a variety of relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, etc. Regardless, both of you know that it’s probably for the better to stay away from each other, but you don’t. Why?
If someone could find the definite answer to that, please let me know, because honestly, I’m just winging it here. These are solutions that my brain has come up with (probably in the shower), so I’m just going with it.
It’s hard to cut someone out of your life. Especially, when you were a big part of each other’s lives at some point. Sure, you stop talking and you figure, “Well, that’s that, we aren’t friends anymore,” but you never really “cut the cord” per-say. You still occasionally (and I mean occasionally) check up on each other, and if you hear big news about one another, then you are there for them, but why?
Honestly, even as I’m writing this I’m going back and forth with my thoughts about this. I am a HUGE advocate for never burning bridges with people because you never know what can happen to them, but where do you draw the line? Why stay a part of someone’s life who doesn’t truly care about you just because you want to be there in case something happens and pretend like you care? I feel like that’s worse than being out of their life altogether.
I mean, I have a select few individuals that I would do absolutely anything for. I would be there at any moment they need me, and they would 100% do the same for me. I would clear my schedule, hop on a plane, and fly to Uganda if I had to. (I have no idea where that is, but for some reason it’s the first country that came to mind.)
On the other hand, I have people, mostly old friends, that I care about. If they needed me, then I would be there to talk to them, but I wouldn’t drop everything for them. That’s the difference. It doesn’t seem like a huge deal, but my point is that why would you want someone in your life that is only half-there for you.
I feel like I’m making myself sound like a terrible person, but I hope you all know where I’m coming from, and hopefully you feel the same way.
I have ALWAYS had a hard time letting people go, even before I had this new view of life. There’s just something inside me that breaks when I think about never talking to someone again, I don’t know. But it has to happen. You have to let people go, even if it hurts. You can’t be there for everyone, and that’s something that people have to understand. It’s hard to think about never ever talking to someone again.
I believe that no one deserves a half-there friend/acquaintance/girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever, and the least that you can do is stop pretending that you care. And if you had someone in mind while reading this post, then let me ask you this: Do you feel relieved or nauseated when you think about not being in their life anymore?
If you’re relieved, congrats you can cut the cord and move along with you happy little life. BUT, if it makes you sick to your stomach, then you really need to evaluate things. You need to start making a serious effort to be apart of his or her life. No more being half-there, be a real, true friend.
Be the friend that you would want to have.